Hello, my dear friend! I hope this finds you well.
Not long after my diagnosis, I focused on it – cancer – and how best to heal it. Here I am, now in my fifth week, and I have already “tired” of it. It still doesn’t “fit”, which is a good thing, I suppose. To me, that means that I haven’t completely identified with it, and it’s not had an opportunity to take a “stranglehold” yet.
At this point, I’m seeking to separate myself from it.
I wouldn’t say that I’m in denial. I am aware that it’s there, but I don’t wish to give it more energy than I must. I would rather focus my energy on healing it than identifying with it.
I had been nearing that point, but Christmas morning was the real turning point for me.
There I was, sitting and enjoying a nice, leisurely morning with my family when text messages began coming in on my phone, asking me to confirm appointments for the following week. Included among them was the appointment to have my chemo port placed. If that wasn’t a buzz kill, I don’t know what is!
Last weekend, I did purchase an audio recording from Audible. Cancer: Discovering Your Healing Power by Louise Hay.
I have had her book Heal Your Body for a while now. In it, she lists the emotional seed of cancer being resentment. That idea and forgiveness are things that she touches more on with this new-to-me book.
It’s not always easy, I know! The little one within each of us only wants to be loved. They did not always get that. In fact, many of us experienced some serious trauma at the hands of those who were supposed to love and protect us.
“How can I possibly forgive that??” “It’s unforgivable!”
I get it! I do.
One thing that we must come to understand, though. Forgiveness is not for those who traumatized us, nor by forgiving are we condoning what they did.
Forgiveness is for us, for our healing.
When we hold on to resentment, anger, or hatred, it is like drinking poison with the intention of hurting those that hurt us.
We only continue to hurt ourselves.
In her book, Cancer, Louise Hay talks about the fact that we don’t need to know how to forgive those who hurt us. We only have to be open and willing to forgive, and Spirit will show us the way.
One thing that really touched me as I was going through it was visualizing, not only myself but my parents as small children approximately 3 to 4 years of age. Really seeing them as small children who, too, only wanted to be loved, adored, and protected.
What I know of them… they weren’t.
And the thing about us, humans? We cannot 1) give others what we, ourselves, do not have to give (ie love, hope, wellness) and 2) teach others that which we do not know.
We just can’t!
And the fact that we, as young adults – barely grown up and matured ourselves – are expected to have it “all together” and raise another generation of “well-adjusted” human beings from “instinct” alone is absolutely ludicrous.
I don’t know about you, but that realization helps me not only give grace to my parents who didn’t know any better but to myself as well!
When we are able to look out into the world and realize that the entirety of the human race is nothing more than a bunch of oversized (wounded) children, running around playing a rousing game of “grown-up”, it really puts A LOT of things into perspective.
But back to this idea of forgiveness…
Louise Hay said it requires us to ask ourselves, “would I rather be happy and healthy, or would I rather be ‘right’?”
I would rather live a life of happiness and health.
How about you?
Until next time, my dear and loving friend, may you experience an abundance of each.
Take care, and I will speak with you again soon!
Much Light and Love,
Are you seeking a space that is supportive and inspiring? One in which you FEEL Divinely held? I invite you to join me and my other soul friends in my Garden.
Hope to see you there, my friend!